Bright Lights and Lamps, Delicious Sweets and Snacks, Dashing Crackers and Sparkles.. Its time to Gun for Fun! Wish you Happy Diwali
Friday 31 October, 2008
Thursday 23 October, 2008
SOME THOUGHTS BY MEN
- SOME THOUGHTS BY MEN-:
Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
Thought 2
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end,
the mourners wondering too.
Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If
you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill
you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The
man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once
again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step
a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was
instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely
missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice
answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when
I got married?"
This is the best!!!
Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her
father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They
reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father
and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering
what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him
to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and
Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his
hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter
finally, finally returned my credit card to me." The whole audience
including priest started laughing.......... but not the poor groom!
Men are Priceless
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, 'While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.'
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, 'While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.'
Friday 17 October, 2008
Indians are brilliant!!!
Please read You cant hold your laugh....
An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would
like to play a fun-game.
The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy
and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."
Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."
This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches
all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches
the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
co-workers.
Checks the input. All to no avail!
Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.
The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.
The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks,
"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American $5,
and goes back to sleep!
An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would
like to play a fun-game.
The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy
and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."
Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."
This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches
all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches
the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
co-workers.
Checks the input. All to no avail!
Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.
The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.
The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks,
"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American $5,
and goes back to sleep!
I never take risk while drinking !!!
I never take risk while drinking
Hilarious!
When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it
Becoz I never take a risk
PEG- I
I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile
I peep into the kitchen
Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: Any news on chopra's daughter's marriage
Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking
out for her
PEG- II
I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard
But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: But still I think chopra's daughter's age is not that much
Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...
PEG- III
I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink
Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep
it in the black cupboard
Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: (getting angry) you call Mr. chopra a horse? If you say that again, I
will cut your tongue...!
Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...
PEG- IV
I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile
Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: (laughing) So chopra is marrying a horse!!
Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...
PEG- V
I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside
I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what I did
Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk
FULL TALLII J
chopra is still cooking
And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
Becoz I never take what???.........................
Tuesday 14 October, 2008
Sardars are back
Santa went to Mysore palace. Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..
========================================
Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.
========================================
When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks Sardarji, how far is LAND?
Sardar: 2kms....
Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?
Sardar: DOWNWARDS.
========================================================
Sardar declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life&. . .
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . .. .
========================================
SARDAR talking on cell.
2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. .... .
========================================
A donkey kicked sardar & ran away
sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &
said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
========================================
Teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara
========================================
Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi
gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....
========================================
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
=================================================
Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.
=================================================
Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge
=======================================================
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
=========================================================
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
==============================================
2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..
========================================
Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.
========================================
When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks Sardarji, how far is LAND?
Sardar: 2kms....
Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?
Sardar: DOWNWARDS.
========================================================
Sardar declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life&. . .
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . .. .
========================================
SARDAR talking on cell.
2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. .... .
========================================
A donkey kicked sardar & ran away
sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &
said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
========================================
Teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara
========================================
Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi
gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....
========================================
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
=================================================
Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.
=================================================
Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge
=======================================================
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
=========================================================
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
==============================================
2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
Tuesday 7 October, 2008
This joke is awesome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The
frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention the condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your
husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women
will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the
most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second
wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said,
"That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will
be ten times richer than you. "The woman said, "That's okay, because
what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest
woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you.
Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The
frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention the condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your
husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women
will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the
most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second
wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said,
"That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will
be ten times richer than you. "The woman said, "That's okay, because
what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest
woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you.
Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!
Thursday 2 October, 2008
Happy Navratri and Durga Pooja...
Wishing You Very Happy Navratri and Durga Pooja….. It is believed that Goddess Durga on her 10 day journey around the earth removes all evil....... May Goddess Durga destroy all evil in and around you and fill your life with happiness and prosperity.
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