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Friday, 17 October 2008

Indians are brilliant!!!


Please read You cant hold your laugh....

An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would
like to play a fun-game.

The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy
and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."

Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."

This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."

So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American thinks about it. No answer.

Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches
all his references. No answer!

He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches
the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
co-workers.

Checks the input. All to no avail!

Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.

The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.

The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks,

"Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American $5,

and goes back to sleep! 

 

I never take risk while drinking !!!

 

I never take risk while drinking

Hilarious!

When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it
Becoz I never take a risk

 


PEG- I
I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile

I peep into the kitchen
Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk

I: Any news on chopra's daughter's marriage
Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking
out for her


PEG- II

I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard
But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg

Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk

I: But still I think chopra's daughter's age is not that much
Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...


PEG- III
I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink

Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep
it in the black cupboard

Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk

I: (getting angry) you call Mr. chopra a horse? If you say that again, I
will cut your tongue...!
Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...


PEG- IV
I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile

Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk

I: (laughing) So chopra is marrying a horse!!
Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...


PEG- V
I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside

I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what I did
Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk


FULL TALLII J
chopra is still cooking
And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
Becoz I never take what???.........................

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Sardars are back


Santa went to Mysore palace. Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..
========================================
Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.

========================================
When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks Sardarji, how far is LAND?
Sardar: 2kms....
Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?
Sardar: DOWNWARDS.

========================================================
Sardar declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life&. . .
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . .. .
========================================

SARDAR talking on cell.
2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. .... .
========================================
A donkey kicked sardar & ran away
sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &
said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.
========================================
Teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara
========================================
Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi
gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....
========================================

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

=================================================

Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.
=================================================
 
Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

=======================================================

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

=========================================================

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
==============================================

2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1 Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1 Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

Marriage Humour


Tuesday, 7 October 2008

This joke is awesome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The
frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."





The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention the condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your
husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."





For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women
will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the
most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."





So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second
wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said,
"That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will
be ten times richer than you. "The woman said, "That's okay, because
what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest
woman in the world!







The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.







Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you.






Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.


















































































The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.







Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show










PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!

Thursday, 2 October 2008

Happy Navratri and Durga Pooja...


Wishing You Very Happy Navratri and Durga Pooja….. It is believed that Goddess Durga on her 10 day journey around the earth removes all evil....... May Goddess Durga destroy all evil in and around you and fill your life with happiness and prosperity.

Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Beauty of Maths!!!!!!


Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111= 12345678987654321


Now, take a look at this...

101%


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:


What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
It's up to you if you share this with your friends & loved ones just
the way I did.
Have a nice day & God bless !!